Aaron Rodgers is just about Dante from Clerks at this level, which I promise you is the one middle-age author reference I’ll use at the moment. It’s necessary to know when your quota has been reached. Anyway, like Dante, right here’s a dude who stood round on Sunday saying “I wasn’t even purported to be right here at the moment,” and phoning it in at work.
We’ve all been there. Each single one in all us goes by these funks the place we simply can’t handle to provide a crap, however the distinction right here is that Aaron Rodgers is being paid $22 million this yr. Dante was undoubtedly simply shuffling alongside for minimal wage.
If you happen to watched Inexperienced Bay play on Sunday you already know the Packers had … let’s say “points,” as a result of it’s the nicest means we will. The protection was sizzling trash, permitting 22 first downs and a 3rd down conversion price of fifty %. Then on the opposite facet of the ball you had Rodgers, who completely regarded each a part of a Jeopardy! host who was all of a sudden requested to play quarterback, and never the opposite means round. Ultimately he completed his day with an atrocious 4.75 yards-per-attempt and two interceptions. Then he was benched for Jordan Love, who stepped in and performed demonstrably higher from the soar.
Then, to cap all of it off, there was friction between Rodgers and coach Matt LaFleur of their post-game statements, simply since you want a pleasant bitter pickle on the plate along with your shit sandwich.
They got here able to play; completely embarrassed us at the moment,” Packers coach Matt LaFleur mentioned, who additionally referred to as the loss humbling.
Rodgers had a barely completely different take.
“I’ll let him use these phrases and I’ll use, it’s only one sport,” Rodgers mentioned. “We performed unhealthy. I performed unhealthy. Offensively we didn’t execute very properly. One sport. We’ve acquired 16 to go.”
If you happen to’ve been saving some Packers-based schadenfreude for years, in all probability since you’re a bitter, rival NFC North fan, then you definitely’re rubbing your palms collectively like Birdman and hoping Rodgers is unsuitable. You need this ache to maintain multiplying and inflicting anguish for the subsequent 16 video games. Certain, there was a sure diploma of poetry in the concept Love would take over from Rodgers in the identical style he took over for Brett Favre, however none of us anticipated it to occur this shortly, and like this.
I believe the factor that makes this all so bizarre is that we all noticed this coming, we simply selected to disregard it. Right here was a dude who clearly didn’t need to play soccer for the Inexperienced Bay Packers, however the assumption simply sort of grew to become “properly, he’ll put it collectively,” as a result of it’s Aaron-freaking-Rodgers. Nonetheless, what we noticed Sunday was not a case of a dude who couldn’t play anymore, it was a man who didn’t need to play soccer anymore. A minimum of, not the place he’s at. Rodgers wished a commerce. He yearned to be nearer to California, and whether or not or not you imagine that was resulting from Jeopardy! internet hosting rumors or not, the difficulty stays the identical.
Rodgers’ identify was scorching sizzling on Day 1 of the NFL Draft, with widespread assumption he’d be traded for a high decide. Finally Inexperienced Bay handed, held onto what they’ve, and primarily based on Week 1 they’re on the precipice of catastrophe. Congrats Packers, you’re my No. 1 losers this week, and I completely, undoubtedly didn’t see this one coming.
Now, let’s take a tour round the remainder of the league.
Winner: OMG THE ARIZONA CARDINALS MIGHT ACTUALLY BE REALLY GOOD NOW
Up thus far within the Kliff Kingsbury period: The Cardinals have been so, so attractive — and likewise an enormous purple flag on the identical time. They’re the NFL’s one evening stand, the hottie you decide up on the bar. For one magical evening of ardour you take pleasure in their firm, then while you date them for a whilst you discover issues. First it’s the expired milk within the fridge, then that they by no means wash their sheets, lastly you discover the previous mayonnaise jar stuffed with toenail clippings and also you resolve to finish it. However hey, it was enjoyable whereas it lasted.
Arizona have been these hotties. Yearly you’d look on paper and say “yeah, they may do that.” You’d see Kyler Murray dance round and throw for 500 yards, then notice they misplaced anyway. Sunday was a colossal, mega assertion for a workforce in dire want of 1.
On offense they have been simply as lethal as ever. Murray thew 4 touchdowns and ran in one other. DeAndre Hopkins and Christian Kirk went off. It was the sort of sport you’d count on to see them lose 41-38, however not this time. The Cardinals held Tennessee to 13 factors, and extra importantly, completely locked down Derrick Henry, A.J. Brown AND Julio Jones, leaving the Titans offense in tatters.
Sure, it’s one sport. Certain, that is solely my first date with the 2021 Cardinals, however man… they appear to be they’ve truly put themselves collectively this time.
Loser: City Meyer
I used to be thiiiiiiiiiiiiiis near placing Trevor Lawrence within the dialog too, however rookies gonna rookie. Sure he threw three picks, but in addition three touchdowns and over 300 yards.
City Meyer loves to speak about management, so let’s make this about management. The Jaguars performed like a poorly coached soccer workforce. That’s all there may be to it. Meyer blew up after, as he’s need to do, saying the myriad errors the workforce made have been “inexcusable,” which is true, certain — however you kinda must learn between the traces a little bit right here as properly.
There have been experiences Meyer’s type is rubbing individuals the unsuitable means. That he doesn’t appear to be adapting to the NFL schedule, or type, or strategy to deal with professionals. Then you might have a bunch of gamers struggling to work out the place to line up, communication points placing too many gamers on subject, and giving up 82 yards price of penalties on Sunday.
The tldr on this: Trevor Lawrence can be wonderful. City Meyer? Not a lot.
Did I point out they misplaced to the Texans? As a result of lol.
Winner: Jameis Winston
The NFL is at its very best when it’s dumb, and Jameis Winston performed some dumb, dumb soccer. That’s the highest praise I can supply, as a result of this was a superb sort of dumb.
14-of-20, 148 yards, 5 touchdowns.
I do know I’m not making a ton of sense right here. So firstly: Sean Payton and the Saints didn’t precisely have a ton of confidence in Winston Week 1. That they had a really conservative sport plan that didn’t ask him to do an excessive amount of. Heck, when it was all mentioned and completed he solely threw 20 rattling passes.
FIVE of those went for touchdowns.
When Peyton Manning broke the all-time single season landing report in 2013, throwing a mind-shattering 55 on the season, he had a landing proportion of 8.3 %. Which means on any given move it had an 8.3 % probability of being a rating. On Sunday Jameis had a landing proportion of 25.
Meaningless enjoyable extrapolation time (principally for my amusement).
If Jameis Winston acquired to play each down towards the Inexperienced Bay Packers, and had as many passing makes an attempt as Peyton Manning in 2013 he’d end the season with 164 touchdowns.
Winner: Jalen Hurts
Changing Jalen Hurts felt just like the not-so-subtle purpose of the Eagles for a lot of the offseason. Now we’ve gotta marvel, why? Don’t get me unsuitable, the Falcons are sizzling ass, however nonetheless — this was a dominant sport that proved up to now that Hurts actually has the abilities.
The quarterback completed with 264 passing yards and three touchdowns, shortly forming a rapport with rookie DeVonta Smith and exhibiting the duo might evolve into being one of many higher handcuffs within the NFL with extra reps. It was so superior to see, and will significantly assuage any ideas of buying and selling for Deshaun Watson.
Not solely did Hurts throw the ball properly, he scrambled extraordinarily successfully — ending with 62 yards on the bottom.
Winner: Matthew Stafford
He’s nonetheless Matthew Stafford
Loser: Andy Dalton
He’s nonetheless Andy Dalton
Loser: The Vikings
So right here’s the deal, proper. If you have a look at the Minnesota roster on paper there is no such thing as a cause this shouldn’t be a 12-5 or 13-4 workforce that makes the playoffs annually and even wins a sport or two. With a properly rounded protection, a top-tier operating again, and arguably the most effective receiving tandems within the NFL, they need to be wonderful.
Not struggling and finally shedding towards the Bengals.
I do know Vikings followers will blame officiating, particularly on two reviewed performs that was EXTREMELY suspect, however like, you gotta notice that in case you’re two unhealthy calls away from shedding to Cincinnati then you definitely’re actually not that good.
It comes right down to the fundamental incontrovertible fact that neither Mike Zimmer, nor Kirk Cousins can maximize the expertise on this roster. It’s a multitude, and proper now it feels just like the workforce is cruising to a different barely-.500 season. Fortunately, the remainder of the NFC North is a multitude too.
Winner: Deebo Samuel
There have been two completely transcendent receiving video games this week (the opposite being Tyreek Hill), however I’m placing Samuel excessive on this one. Ending with 189 receiving yards, he topped HALF HIS ENTIRE 2020 SEASON IN ONE GAME!
Significantly, dude completed with 391 yards in seven video games a yr in the past. Now he’s casually catching 9 passes for nearly 200 yards. It’s so superior to see video games like this. Samuel was taken within the second spherical of the 2019 NFL Draft and had a very strong rookie marketing campaign, which by no means actually acquired to progress as a result of fo harm.
Now we may very well be seeing the beginning of one thing particular and I’m on board.
Loser: Washington followers caught on this poop rain
You recognize the previous saying: Each time it leaks uncooked sewage from the roof of FedEx Discipline, Dan Snyder has opened his mouth once more.