I get messages from individuals – my associates, strangers, and possibly Trump’s grandpa, too. They inform me, ‘Anne, I like your way of life. I like the way you do your factor. I like the nice life you’re dwelling. You bought all of it found out.’
Bollocks! I’m right here to trash all that. I’ve bought nothing found out. I cross by means of most of my days in zombie-mode, autopilot, or regardless of the heck else you care to name it. Virtually each single day, I doubt myself, doubt my writing, ask myself who tf I believe I, why I’m strolling this earth, and so much else. When somebody says they love me, I ponder why they need to love a deaf, confused nincompoop who doesn’t see life past the hem of her fringy skirt. After I get a consumer, I doubt myself and really feel like an imposter. Different instances, I simply lengthy to cross over to the opposite aspect and be rid of every thing. Different instances, I query God on quite a few issues. “Why make my life this wonky?”, “Isn’t it sufficient that I’m deaf?”, “Why are you so merciless?”, “Why let me come into this terrible world?” Then I ask myself, “Why am I even alive?”
And that, of us, is the lifetime of this “glamorous woman” whom you wish to be like.
No, I’m not right here to complain or discourage you. I’m right here to let you know summat else.
I’ve simply given you a peek into my life.
There are individuals on the market having it worse than I, and there are these having it worse than them. To sum all of it up, we’re all preventing sure “demons”. Possibly you hate your life since you’re holding off preventing your demons. Is that it?
We’re all studying…constantly, and amidst all that, we have to deal with ourselves, not on the woman subsequent door who seems like she has all of it. She’s in all probability battling with severe melancholy, and also you’ll solely discover out after she’s dedicated suicide.
I’m not aiming to be like anybody who isn’t me. I’m aiming to be a greater Anne who is aware of easy methods to civilly deal with individuals who simply can’t perceive what it means to be completely abled, with out breaking their entrance tooth or one thing. I’m aiming to be an Anne who edits her purchasers’ work satisfactorily and writes novels that her followers will love. I’m aiming to be Anne who will likely be very snug with being Anne, imperfections and all.
Earlier than the rest, deal with your self.
Harken to my voice, ye.